The Open Source Ministry Blog

Dictionary.com Word of the Day: Afflatus

afflatus \uh-FLAY-tuhs\, noun:
A divine imparting of knowledge; inspiration.

I’m going to have to remember that word and use it when someone asks about the Sunday service. Especially when someone asks me while I am standing in that tunnel-like egress area at the back.

I felt another “Ten List” coming along, so here it is.

10 ways to make Church MORE eXciting

1. Those programs you hand out, they’re now called “Boooya-tins”
2. The “Call To Worship” prayer begins with an announcer exclaiming “Let’s get ready to HUUUUMMMMBLE”
3. All services now referred to as “Extravaganzas”
4. More cowbell
5. Radio advertisements emphasize “SUNDAY!!! SUNDAY!!! SUNDAY!!!”
6. More doctrinal cage matches
7. Two words: “Haptic Pews”
8. Super Sized Sacraments
9. No cantatas, singspirations, musicals, or simple programs, just Rock Operas.
10. Start your own reality show “Extreme Makeover: Soul Edition”

A great video about advertisers and consumers.

I can picture a video similar to this only with churches in the advertiser spot and people in general in the consumers spot.

Church: “But we had that clever pop culture referencing sermon series last month. Oh, and don’t forget that ironic and irreverent postcard we sent.”

Prospect: “But I came to church to learn from the Bible.”

I have a lovely linoleum tile floor in my office which I just had to have waxed again due to the amount of damage my chair has done to it over the last 28 month. It has been recommended that I get a chair mat, so I am looking for something cheap (that’s just the kind of guy I am).

For $48.99 I can get the “Office Depot® Brand Hardwood Floor Chair Mat, Rectangular, 46″ x 60″, Clear” which features the following:

• Antiskid backing keeps your mat from slipping.
• Lets you roll your chair easily without harming your hardwood floors.
• Helps to reduce repetitive strain injury and lower back fatigue caused by rolling your chair manually.
• Made of durable clear vinyl to hold up to constant use.
• Backed by manufacturer’s 3-year warranty.

Wait! “Helps to reduce repetitive strain injury and lower back fatigue caused by rolling your chair manually.” You mean this thing can move my chair for me? Sure, linoleum is nice and smooth, but it doesn’t automatically determine where I need my chair and then move it automatically. And for less than $50!